A bonus column post-election

I was a skeleton of myself from Sunday to Tuesday, unsure what I needed to do, see, think about, or know to make myself feel better about what was coming on the other side of the election. On Wednesday, I headed into the City and did my regular things, without any of it feeling regular. But I coached myself well enough to go through the motions, knowing that each day that followed should and would be better than the one prior to it. This morning, I woke up early to write, because I know myself and that’s how I best channel and package my thoughts. Below, you’ll find a copy of what I shared on LinkedIn early this morning. I hope it helps someone to see it.

I’m happy to field any calls beginning tomorrow, into the weekend and next week, if someone has felt they don’t have anyone to speak with on this subject matter. This Saturday evening, paying subscribers of this newsletter will receive, as usual, my weekly column. That one will focus on what it means to be authentic without being a jerk. I wrote it some while ago, and I’m pleased that it’s running when it is. I’ll begin this afternoon to work on my February 2025 slate of columns.

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One of the recurring themes that comes up for me at therapy over recent years is when I feel overwhelmed by items or issues far larger than what I can influence, yet are weighing down on me and liable to lead me to make poor decisions closer to home as a result of a foul mood, to acknowledge first aloud that I feel that way, then to identify areas within my control that I can serve to improve for myself and others.

While walking in Manhattan yesterday, I wasn't staring at my phone how I typically do, taking in some beautiful November weather. I watched just ahead of me an older couple entering the crosswalk trip and fall to the ground. I raced ahead to assist them to their feet, alongside a few. Then I continued to my next appointment.

An hour later, seated at a coffee shop, I overheard a conversation between two gentlemen. After one left, I approached and introduced myself to the remaining one. He is visiting town from Kansas City. We chatted for 15 minutes, mostly about work. I enjoyed having someone new to speak with, to get to know a bit between meetings. We exchanged some emails later in the day, and his final comment there was thanking me for coming over.

Over the course of the afternoon, I sensed a mass exodus taking place from one social media platform, some of those exiters setting up shop alternative on another platform. That reaction makes sense, as I performed a similar recalibration some years ago post-election, when in hindsight I really should have made the move after the preceding election. What I allow to creep in and thus seep in is up to me; it will color my impressions and shape my mood. Social media selection is one aspect of a wider set of decisions that some might be still contemplating this week, and I'd encourage any worthy shifts in approach sooner than later.

At a larger level, I'd suggest getting outside more often and speaking with people you were not forced to know. Someone within my community who I have chosen to be cordial with, not friendly with - for my sake - lost his mother unexpectedly a few months ago, I reached out and asked if he'd like to grab a cup of coffee. To my surprise, he said yes. A few hours later, we sat down together. He spoke about his mother for half that time, and then for the rest about how much it meant to him that I'd contacted him. I believe based on his tone and tempo then that it may have been the first occasion in his 46 years on Earth when someone made such a gesture with him in mind.

The people who have advocated over past years to keep everyone at home, safe and tucked away, more removed from kindred spirits and likeminded peers, have gotten much of the argument wrong. The people who have described how we're naturally all social beings and require to be around and among others likewise are wrong. That whole discourse is broken and appears to be beyond repair. What each of us can do is make changes within our control to be gentler with ourselves and in turn kinder to the next.